Seeing God in the snowflakes!!

A few weeks back I checked out the book Snowflake Bentley by Jacqueline Briggs Martin to read to the girls. Little did I know how timely it was as we would be having snow here very soon! The book is a fascinating story of a man obsessed with snowflakes! Despite their financial difficulties, his parents eventually bought him a special camera that could be used to photograph snowflakes. Thus began a love affair with photographing, documenting and drawing thousands of snowflakes over Mr. Bentley's lifetime. After reading the book to the girls, I found and checked out the actual book written by Mr. Bentley (and the only of it's kind, still used today) entitled Snow Crystals by W.A. Bentley. It is amazing!!! This book documents over 2000 snowflakes photographed by Mr. Bentley. The most amazing thing I learned from these two books was the fact that NO two snowflakes are alike!!!! Think about that for a moment! NONE are alike. Have you seen a snow storm lately? I have!!! With this book in mind, I stood at my window and looked out at the thousand of snowflakes falling per second in my yard, and marveled at the fact that NO two are alike!!! After learning that, who would NOT believe in God? How else do you explain the fact that in any given snow storm there must be millions of snowflakes dropped to the ground, and none are identical? What imagination and creativity that requires! Only God could do that! The most suitable passage from the Bible for this is in Isaiah 40, one of my favorite chapters of the Bible! It reads (vs. 12)"Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, and marked off the heavens by the span, and calculated the dust of the earth by the measure, and weighed the mountains in a balance and the hills in a pair of scales? Who has directed the Spirit of the Lord, or as His counselor has informed Him?" And further down in verse 21 it reads "Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been declared to you from the beginning? Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth? It is He who sits above the circle of the earth, and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers, who stretches out the heavens like a curtain and spreads them out like a tent to dwell in. He it is who reduces rulers to nothing, who makes the judges of the earth meaningless. Scarcely have they been planted, scarcely have they been sown, scarcely has their stock taken root in the earth, but He merely blows on them, and they wither, and the storm carries them away like stubble." How awesome is our God?

I can't and shouldn't complain.......but I will anyway!

I am a complainer by nature. I rarely look on the "bright side" of things, instead I focus on the worst case scenario in each problem. If my daughter talks disrespectfully to me once, then she will never be a productive adult because she can't submit to authority. If Jordan doesn't nap one day, she will never nap again and my few hours of quiet a day are over forever! If I have a pain in my head, I have a tumor etc..... You get the gist of it!
So, the verse in the Bible that reads "Do ALL things without complaining or arguing" (Philippians 2:14) is a hard pill for me to swallow sometimes.
So, today I am up early, changing sheets, doing laundry, unloading the dishwasher, doing school with the girls, and I am tired. Sort of feeling sorry for myself. I finally got a chance to check my email when the girls took their naps and what do I see on the internet? Prince William got engaged. Who cares, right? I normally do NOT care at all, and I am certainly not a "royal watcher" by any means. But, as I sat at the computer watching a brief interview with the prince and his fiance, I found myself thinking things like "I bet SHE doesn't have to do laundry!" And "I bet SHE doesn't have to cook 3 meals a day!" Oh yah...and "I bet SHE doesn't scrub toilets!" I kind of sat with this all day and found myself thinking about the two of them way more than is normal! As I was vacuuming I thought about her and the fact that she probably doesn't vacuum!
Flash forward to later as I am doing the dishes. I hear a song on a christian CD of mine that talks about being a part of God's family. Suddenly, the truth hits me. Who cares if I am not a part of a royal family with all the perks that includes. Someday I will be part of THE royal family of believers in heaven! I am part of God's family, the God of the universe and He loves me! All the work I do daily is for HIS glory and He sees me!!! I felt ashamed. I felt ridiculous. I felt content with my life, as it is. I felt grateful that God teaches me even when I am complaining and moaning.
Do all things without grumbling and complaining......... a lesson for us all!

Questions and concerns

So.......we are settled in here in WA and as most of you probably know, we love it so far!
The one thing that has been plaguing us these past few months is Michael's work schedule. As some of you know, when we lived in CA Michael got off work at 3:30pm. So, on a "bad" day he was home at 4pm! This was great for the girls, as Michael played with them all afternoon, and it was great for me cause I got a break and could make dinner in peace!
So, now here we are in WA, and Michael is supposed to be off at 4pm each day. Well, tonight he walked in the door about 8:30pm and another night this week it was closer to 9pm. There are a few reasons for this: 1) he is adjusting to new procedures and clients so there is a learning curve and 2) they keep electronic notes vs. hand written notes and this is for some reason way more time consuming. And, today for example he had a client at 8, 9, 10, 1pm, 2pm and then a meeting at 3pm-4pm. So, at 4pm when he is supposed to be leaving, he still has documentation to complete for each client which amounts to about 4 hours work!
Why am I telling you all this? Because it SUCKS!!! Surprisingly the thing I hate the most is not the extra work it has placed onto me! Yes, working a 13 hour day is hard and tiring! But, the worst part of this has been my kids reactions. The girls are used to having Daddy home early and getting to spend lots of time playing with him. They love him!!! At first, Sheridan would just make comments about Daddy not being home for dinner. Then she would get upset and say "when is Daddy coming home?!". Well, tonight was just plain heart wrenching! Tonight was the second time that she has gone to bed before Michael has gotten home, and she cried! I found her in her room clutching a picture of Michael and her taken at "pals night" from her preschool days and crying. When I went to comfort her she said to me "I never get to see Daddy anymore!" It made me so sad AND angry.
What has been hard for me in dealing with this is that I keep wondering why God would move us up here just to remove my husband from the family scene? What is the point of that? I have never been one of those women who values money or work success over my time with my family. I would rather my husband be home early and make less money.
So, tonight after putting Sheridan and Jordan to bed, I sat down and got out my Bible. I really wanted an answer from God! I felt sad and alone. Then, I remembered a verse that I had read a few years ago when I was struggling with post partum depression. I looked for it and found it in Ecclesiastes 7:10 and 13-14. It says "Do not say, "why is it that the former days were better than these?" ......Consider the work of God, for who is able to straighten what He has bent? In the day of prosperity be happy. But in the day of adversity consider- God has made the one as well as the other......"
I don't understand why God would allow this for our family. I don't understand why He would allow my daughter to suffer in this way. I don't know what we are to learn from this. But, God does. Can I trust God with my daughter's hearts? Yes. Can I trust that He has their best interest at heart? Yes. Is it still difficult? Yes.
I am not sure how this will be resolved, and I am not sure what I am to learn. But, I am trusting in the Lord. I still put my faith in Him. I will wait on Him.

Reaping what I have sowed part II

Hello friends! Sorry that I have been absent from the blogging world for so long. I really am still getting settled. Plus, I have started Sheridan in Kindergarten and that takes up a lot of time too!
But, I have to relate a funny situation that happened last weekend with Sheridan. If you have been reading my blog, you remember about 6 months ago I was at home in Corona doing yard work. I asked Sheridan to come help me clean up some clippings and her response was "Mom, do I look like Cinderella? I don't do yard work!" Yes, I was astounded and this led me to consider...........what am I sowing with Sheridan and her heart/attitude? Well, a friend/mentor of mine recommended a GREAT book called For Instruction in Righteousness by Pam Forster. I absolutely love this book! It takes all the hard work out of Christian parenting! The woman that wrote this compiled a list of "common" sins and then references many verses, consequences and thought provoking comments on each. So, as part of our daily Bible studying we have incorporated many verses/activities from this book. So, last weekend our whole family was out doing yard work (it takes many hands to do all the yard work required for the typical WA sized yard!). I had been weeding and clipping bushes and Sheridan and Jordan had been helping me for quite a while. So, finally Jordan goes off and starts to play in the yard, and since we were almost done, I said to Sheridan "it's ok honey, go and play with your sister, you can be done." Her response this time? "It's ok mom, I would rather stay here and serve you." WHAT? Is this MY child speaking? I had such a smile on my face when I heard her response! I am so grateful too that the Lord has allowed me to see the fruit of my perseverance in her spiritual life. It was such confirmation that using the Word of God to discipline has rewards! Her words show honor and respect much more than they did previously. There is progress! Hurray!!!

Lessons being learned!

Hello all!!!! Yes, I am still alive!
As most of you know, we have moved to WA!!! The past 4 weeks have been busy to say the least! We are pretty much settled in here, Michael has started his new job, the house is set up and unpacked. So far, I am enjoying living here. Some of you know that I previously lived for 13 months in Indiana while Michael was completing his internship for his doctoral program. Well, I am happy to report, WA is nothing like IN!!!! I love our neighborhood, love our house (for the most part, although it is a bit small for us!), Michael seems to like his job so far, and we found a great church! A lot has been happening.
So, despite all of this I think I am still a bit sad. I really miss my "old life." I miss my house, miss my neighborhood, miss my church, miss my family and I really miss all my friends. And, I miss the sense of contentment that I had at "home." I kind of feel like "ok, what am I supposed to do with myself NOW?" My response to this is..............wait on the Lord. But, I am so BAD at waiting! I know that the Lord has brought us here for a reason, and He is in control. For some reason, God chose to move us out of our comfort zone and into an unfamiliar zone! For me, accepting this and not clinging to the past, is crucial. Otherwise, I feel angry at my husband, bored, lonely and sad. After all, I MYSELF prayed that God would remove anything that was keeping me from a closer relationship with Him, so I am convinced that my level of contentment was keeping me from being closer to Him.
Would I trade my contentment for a closer relationship with God? Yes. Would I trade the familiar for the unfamiliar for a closer relationship with God? Yes. Would I trade a busy life for a slower pace for a closer relationship with God? Yes.
So, my task is clear. Pursue God during this waiting time. Find Him. Rely on Him. Praise Him.

Sensored and disciplined

It's been a rough few weeks spiritually speaking for me! Out of the blue, the Lord decided to teach me a few lessons, painful lessons. It all started one Sunday night at church when Michael and I attended a talk from our pastor about discipline. I won't bore you with all the details, but let's just say that the Lord used this night to very publicly teach me about submission to my husband. If that wasn't painful enough, He finished me up with a sermon on Sunday on Revelation 3: 15-16. Our pastor spoke on the words of Christ to the church in Laodicea: "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth." The pastor went on to talk about "lukewarm" Christians, saying that they had a "2nd class dedication to a 1rst class cause." A lukewarm Christian, he said, is a mix of the world and the church, they want salvation without discipleship! Salvation without discipleship. Wow, that sounded like me! I have struggled intensely the past few years with balancing time to read the word and pray, with "down time" and "me time." Often times I have rationalized my lack of discipline in the word by saying "I'm a mom, I am just so busy" or "I work all day every day, I deserve down time." What I really wanted was salvation without discipleship. I wanted to be saved, but not put in the time. Our pastor went on to say that a lukewarm Christian is ineffective for Christ and has no chance of being used in the world for Christ because they never catch the attention of the world! Well, if I am "lukewarm", how am I going to reach my children for Christ, let alone the world???? These experiences have brought about a new committment in me for the things of Christ. I am determined NOT to be a lukewarm Christian. On June 29th I began a quest to read through the entire Bible, something I have never done before. I have consistently read my Bible and prayed at night since that day. I praise the Lord for this! I don't want to be comfortable and complacent in my committment to Christ. I want to need the Lord. In return, maybe He can use me in some small way!
Are you cold, lukewarm, or hot for Christ???

A lesson on love

I have to write about a recent incident in the life of Sheridan, my 5 year old. Last week after church, she told me that there was a girl in her class that day with a "strange hand." She proceeded to point the little girl out to me and sure enough, one of her hands looked as if it had a birth defect. I cringed as Sheridan related to me that she had asked the little girl "what's that?" and "does that hurt?" This began a long conversation (it actually lasted throughout the week!) on why this little girls hand was different, why God made her that way, how Sheridan felt about it, and other various topics related to this.
I realized quickly, that this was the first time Sheridan had seen someone with a disability, other than someone in a wheel chair. Both Michael and I spent a lot of time processing this with Sheridan, and we focused specifically on the fact that Jesus doesn't make mistakes, that He had made her that way on purpose, and that Jesus looks at what people are like on the inside, not the outside, and so should we. Sheridan admitted that she had felt "scared" when she first saw the little girls hand, and we normalized that. One other thing we talked about was the fact that despite having a hand that looked different, the little girl was likely fun, kind, smart and would make a great friend. We even gave Sheridan suggestions on what she could say the next time she saw the little girl, such as "do you want to be my friend?"
So, yesterday when I picked Sheridan up from her class, she was playing with this particular little girl. As Sheridan came toward the door, the little girl followed and I got to meet her. It was clear that they had become friends! The conversation that I had with Sheridan later brought tears to my eyes and thankfulness to my heart!! She told me that when she saw the little girl, she said to her "do you want to be friends?" Sheridan reported that the little girl got a huge smile on her face and said "yes!" Sheridan also told me how much fun they had had at church, and all the things they had done together that day. She ended by saying to me "mom, you were right! Even someone with a different hand can be a great friend!"
I was so grateful to the Lord for providing this wonderful opportunity for Sheridan to learn about how God loves us, how we can love others, and the value of other people, even those that look "different"!!